Do you ask for what you WANT?
When I reflect on my adult life, I have always received, experienced and achieved everything that I have desired in my life.
That scholarship, savings goal, going to this café on this day, getting my food when and how I wanted to have them, pay rise, going overseas, saying yes, saying no, not replying, not going to that event, getting that boy, getting that job, leaving that job, pursuing my dreams, working with ideal clients, doing exactly what I want to do every day, etc etc etc. The list goes on!
Not because I have demanded them in a negative way or threw immature tantrums if I didn’t get them…
But because… I just asked for it.
I never questioned what I wanted.
I was and still am very clear about what I want in every situation.
And because I was so clear on what I wanted, I always received them.
Because of this, I always thought it was normal to do, be, experience and have everything that you wanted.
Because it was such a norm in my life, I had trouble understanding why people;
1. Didn’t ask for what they wanted, even if they knew exactly what they wanted!
2. Felt bad or guilty for asking for what they wanted
3. Felt like they were being difficult or that they shouldn’t ask for what they wanted
4. Stayed in a relationship/friendship/job/situation they didn’t like
Not because I was judging them but because I was just so genuinely confused about why they think would restrict themselves so much and cause self-inflicted pain!!
I remember thinking,
“Oh wow, people really do things they don’t like?
People really don’t ask for what they want?
Oh wow, that’s so interesting but I don’t quite understand. WHY? What are the benefits of them NOT asking for what they want?”
The thing that confused me, EVEN MORE, is that people were COMPLAINING about their lives because they didn’t get what they wanted.
What confused me to a whole another level after that is that the same people wouldn’t do ANYTHING to change it!
They just stayed exactly where they are WHILE they were complaining and sitting in a massive puddle of unhappiness.
I just don’t understand it.
Wouldn’t life be simpler and easier if you ALLOWED yourself to simply ask for what you want?
Why put yourself through frustration or anger when you can avoid it?
Why do the things that you don’t want to do when you can just speak up?
Now, I’m not saying that you should do this while harming people and their lives. NO!
It’s about considering and acknowledging them WHILE you declare and make it very clear on what you are going to do because it feels right and aligned for you.
When you put yourself first by tuning within and getting clear on what you want and doing the things that are aligned for YOU, you end up helping everybody because you get what you want, others get to share what THEY want, they also know what to expect and therefore there is NO space for resentment.
Do you ask for what you want every single day?
If not, why not?
What’s holding you back?
What are your judgments against people who simply ask and do the things that they want?
Written on July 24th 2017.