Do you have a name for your inner bully?

I used to call mine Beatrice. Because it started with “B”. Because I was too nice to say, “Bitch” back in the days.😂
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Now, I instantly know when my inner bully is trying to be a bitch and take over my mind, body, and soul so I don’t need to call it a name anymore. Because I just know, straight away, that it’s my inner bully trying again.

But it helped me in the beginning because it helped me truly realize that it wasn’t my voice, it was someone else’s voice.
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I still deal with my annoying inner bully, every single day!!😂😂

I’m sure you have one too – you know, the one who says,

“You aren’t good enough. Who are you to do X Y Z? Why are you even trying? You’re ugly.” Blah blah blah”

Honestly, they NEVER GO AWAY. They are always in your face, trying to bring you down or trying to make you play small. 🖕

I used to listen to it because I thought they were real but now, I instantly flick them off like a fly on my shoulder.
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But it wasn’t always like that. It took practice. I strengthened that muscle. And I’m STILL and always will be strengthening that muscle. Because your inner bully will change and come up with all sorts of NEW things to say to you as you evolve as a person.

Even though the things that my inner bully says to me change, HOW I deal with them remained the same.
___________________

The first step is to be aware.

I know, it’s simple. But the hardest thing for me was to realize that this voice was actually NOT ME! I had a hard time believing that it wasn’t my own voice – because, in the practical sense, these words were from my own head. No one else is saying it to me so they are my thoughts, right? Which means they are my own voice?

No. It’s NOT my own voice. It does NOT belong to the thoughts of Sarah Yoo.
It belongs to my inner bully.
It’s the fear talking.

The second step is simple. And fun.
You just tell it to piss off. That’s what I literally do.
I say,

“I know it’s you, it’s not me. You are talking nonsense to me because you are scared. I know you are scared but I don’t want your fear. Thank you but NO THANK YOU. You don’t belong here and I don’t have space for you so, piss off now, thanks!”

What I say each time is quite different but you get the idea.
Sometimes, when the voice is SUPER STUBBORN, I challenge it.

“Okay, you’re still here. Well, tell me, what evidence do you have that I’m not good enough? Who’s saying that I’m good enough? Please, give the evidence, show me why!”

I ask for the truth, the evidence.

As my inner bully frantically tries to find evidence, I win some time.

And within that time, I realize that my fear crept in from something little and it blew up like a gigantic monster which made the things that my inner bully was saying seem so REAL!
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So I come back to the truth.

Because the truth is this:

I know that I’ve got this. I know that I will always be okay, no matter what happens because I have ALWAYS been okay in my life!!🌞

Even if something is off or not quite right, I ALWAYS end up coming out of it a bit smarter, stronger or more resilient. Or something.

And it’s not even positive thinking. I’m not just saying that to myself to make me feel better for a moment.

I’m just simply REMINDING myself of the truth that I KNOW.

I think about my own past and think of examples where I DID overcome difficulties and challenges and that no matter what happened, I WAS ALWAYS FINE!

It’s the TRUTH! 🌞

It just seems so FREAKY and difficult at the moment because our inner bully blew up something small into a gigantic ball of fear.

We just have to realize that it was the fear talking.
It was the inner bully talking.
NOT YOU.
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One of the best advice that I have received so far was from a previous manager of mine and I’ve been living accordingly since.

She said to me;

“Sarah, you have to be the BEST MUMMY FOR YOURSELF.”
🌞

She said this to me when I was an adult and it is so damn true.

No one can do this for us. Only we can.
Only I can reassure myself of the truth.
Only I can pick myself up and remind myself how amazing I am.
Because if we don’t, no one else will!

WRITTEN JULY 29TH 2017

1 Comment

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