• Sarah Yoo

A Practical Guide to Couple Complaining

Updated: Feb 20, 2019


Photo by Savs on Unsplash

No matter how amazing our relationships are, we will have complaints. There is no relationship that’s an exception.


Fathers. Mothers. Sisters. Brothers. Managers. Coworkers. Friends. Strangers.


Even lovers.


The problem isn’t the existence of complaining.

It’s how we handle them.


It’s a delicate dance, especially when you begin sharing a new life with someone.


Complaints are an expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance about something. But unfortunately, it is often expressed in the form of criticism, blame, or projection all wrapped up in frustration.


As much as I’m aware of this, I often struggled with it. It’s easy to allow your frustrations and ego to get ahead of yourself and slip into the “I’m right, you’re wrong” cycle.


The goal isn’t to be a perfect partner clear of frustrations and complaints. The goal is to know how to effectively communicate when there is.


Most importantly, we want our partners to hear us without feeling criticised, inadequate or unappreciated.


Just like how it’s perfectly normal to have ups in a relationship, it’s the same with downs. With that said, the more we understand how our complaints affect our partners, the better we know how and what to communicate when we have a disconnect in the relationship.




How the Sexes Interpret Complaints Differently


Women and men interpret complaints differently - John Gray explains the difference in his latest book, "Beyond Mars and Venus”.