How to Activate Your Feminine Energy, as a Masculine-Woman
2 weeks ago, I decided to go on a 4-day silent meditation retreat on a whim - no device, no Wi-Fi, 6-hours of meditation and Yoga every day, in complete silence. I changed my mind 5 times because it didn't make any logical sense to do it.
"I should do it next week.
I can't cancel on 5 people!
I shouldn't spend money on this."
But I decided to act on my intuition and left the next day and it was one of the best decisions I've made this year.
(Lesson number 1 - listen and ACT on your intuition because it's ALWAYS on point and knows exactly what we need and its timing is always precise) When I came back home from the retreat, I realized why I've been feeling so imbalanced, and overwhelmed. I realized it's because I've been too much in my masculine energy while shaming my feminine side.
I never thought this would be the reason behind my inner turmoil but here we are.
So, I began consciously ACTIVATING my feminine energy. And the impact that I've been experiencing has been TREMENDOUS. Since I began making these changes, I've been feeling lighter, happier, more centered, motivated and found myself with a lot more energy and focus.
So, if you are a high-achieving woman who often feel imbalanced, overwhelmed and off-center because you feel like you have to be more masculine than you really are, this article is for you. Today I want to talk to you about
what feminine and masculine energies are
why it's important to maintain a healthy balance and
4 powerful ways to activate and step into your feminine power NOW
Let's get into it!
What are Feminine and Masculine Energies?
It doesn't matter if you identify yourself as a man or a woman, a heterosexual or a homosexual, you have both feminine and masculine energies inside of you.
The masculine energy is all about providing, organizing, protecting and creating security blanket like financial stability. It has qualities that are based on logic, analytical reasoning, control and discipline.
It's science, not poetry.
The masculine believes, "if you can't see it, it doesn't exist".
It's activated when it is giving and providing - giving its skills and time to solve problems, to lead, to make decisions and engaging in activities that are moving forward with a penetrating, directing and decisive energy.
The feminine is an important energy as it counterbalances our masculine side.
It has the qualities of receptivity, softness, emotions and is governed by intuition - it's about tapping into the things that can't be seen with our eyes.
It is all about knowing and being, rather than doing.
The main quality about the feminine energy is its receptivity. It's activated when our hearts are open to receiving help, love, affection and protection.
It's about letting go, relaxing and simply allowing the natural flow of life to simply be.
You can imagine the masculine energy as the ocean floor and the feminine energy as the flowy ocean water, where they both need each other to exist.
Now you might be thinking,
"I have traits from both sides. So, how do I know if I'm more masculine or feminine?"
How to know your natural dominant energy:
Even though we have both the feminine and masculine traits, there is an energy that is naturally more dominant than the other.
For most of us, it should be easy to recognize which one it is because it's the energy that we feel the most comfortable in, one that you thrive in the most.
But for some of us, it may not be so easy.
For example, I was convinced that my natural side was masculine because my automatic habits were very masculine.
However, I recently learnt that this wasn't the case.
You see, in my childhood, I grew up seeing masculine traits as superior as it was highly praised. On the other hand, feminine traits like intuition, emotions or affection were hardly present in my upbringing.
I became highly masculine because it was a way for me to conform to my family's way of being. It was essentially a way for be to 'survive' and fit in.
I knew that something was off and wondered if it was because I was in the 'wrong' energy.
So, I decided to experiment.
And I only realized that my dominant energy is actually feminine when I practiced BECOMING more feminine.
Because the more I practiced being in my feminine energy, the more I felt comfortable. I felt my heart and soul opening up, softening and I generally felt more happier and relaxed.
I realized that even though I have strong masculine traits that helps me in many areas of my life, I felt the most natural and comfortable in my feminine energy.
Now you might be thinking,
"Okay, so I know the differences of the energies and which energy I'm more dominant in.
Why is it so important for me to put the effort to be more feminine?
It's worked out okay for me so far?"
Activate Your Feminine Power and Experience the Full Gift of Your Masculine
When we, as masculine-women fail to honor and nurture our feminine side, we start to experience a host of stress symptoms.
Too much masculine energy can look like:
feel alone as we have trouble asking and receiving help
feel blocked as we're emotionally closed off
often feel bad about where we are and ourselves because we're critical and judgmental of ourselves
Stuck due to over-analysis
lack of creative flow
holding grudges and unreasonable anger
feel tired, over-whelmed, unloved or stressed
lack of intimacy
As you can see, this is NOT an optimal way of being.
By being TOO much in your masculine energy, you are actually sabotaging your powerful masculine traits!
Let's think about this for a second.
Just imagine how much mental and emotional energy is being taken up when you are experiencing the stress symptoms as described above.
When we begin to honor our feminine energies, a huge amount of energy gets freed up because before, it was being used up in being stuck, feeling stressed, overwhelmed and so on.
So this means you release MORE creative and powerful energy for your masculine side to use, where it can be more decisive, take inspired actions, get things done, create new things, be innovative and so on.
I found it SO much easier making decisions using my intuition.
I no longer spent so much time over-analyzing on my own.
I then had more energy to spend on getting more things done.
So I became more productive and efficient.
Harmony of the Energies:
In order for us to truly experience the gift of being our authentic selves, we need to focus more on bridging the gap between our own masculine and feminine energies.
It is when we give ourselves the permission to be truly who we are - naturally feminine YET unapologetically masculine in times and situations where it's required.
It is when we are able to:
say yes with openness
say no with compassion
share and include emotions to make decisions
ask for help AND provide help
welcome the unpredictability of intuition in a dance with structure and plan
encourage the open sharing of emotions in order to achieve clarity and make efficient decisions
I believe this is the new kind of beings that we are supposed to support and nurture - beings who actively encourage the integration of their feminine and masculine traits in their lives, where no side is more superior than the other but they are equal partners, a balanced team who brings out the best in each other. 4 Powerful Ways to Activate your Feminine Energy It sounds all great but HOW do you activate your feminine energy, you might be asking.
Let me share with you the 4 powerful ways that has tremendously helped me step into my feminine energy.
1. Share your emotions without seeking solutions
Too often, we forget the importance of acknowledging and sharing our emotions.
I still find this difficult but I've come a long way. I went from not being able to even say a few words to now feeling comfortable to say, "I feel..." "When this happened today, I felt....."
For women, talking about our emotions and feeling heard is extremely important for our well-being because these activities stimulates oxytocin, which allows our estrogen levels to rise and in return, our stress level decrease.
What's important here is that we simply SHARE and not seek or receive solutions. For us, simply feeling heard is enough and that's all we need.
So, start making a conscious effort to share the feelings that you experienced during your day with your friends, family or lovers, even if it feels small, silly or irrelevant. The idea is to give yourself the permission and the space to let it all out, without feeling judged. The idea is to help your feminine side to feel safe and heard.
2. Shift from Thinking to Feeling
Shift from your head and drop into your heart.
Thinking and analyzing can be helpful to certain extent, but too much can lead to frustration, confusion and overwhelm.
Think less. Feel more. Thinking is a deceptive process - it makes you feel like you are doing great things, when really, you are just building castles in the air. Feelings are more substantial, they transform you and they reflect the truth inside. For example, thinking about love isn't going to help but feeling love is bound to change you.
Ask yourself, "What am I feeling right now? What do I feel like doing" "What are my feelings trying to guide me to?"instead of "What should I do?" "What makes more sense to do now?"
3. Me Time - engage in social bonding or self-nurturing activities
Feminine energy is all about receptivity - when we receive love, help, affection or attention, our hearts open up.
One of the ways to do this is to connect with other women.
The feminine largely feels connected through verbal communication, especially in female-only situations because something happens when you are surrounded by other feminine energies. It makes it easier for you to drop the masculine mask and fully enjoy being in your feminine without worrying about being judged.
Another way for you to engage in me-time is to do activities that you enjoy, without SACRIFICE for the good of others. It's when you do the things you LOVE, just for the sake of it. Even if it doesn't make sense.
This is the time where we give ourselves the love, attention and energy that we desire through self-nurturing activities.
4. Seek and Receive help
More women are finding it difficult to ask and receive help. When we are too much in our masculine side, we become overly independent and detached.
Too often, women decides that it's easier to do everything herself than to ask. It's true that we can do it all but when we do, we get overwhelemed and stressed.
Asking for help expresses our vulnerability and receptivity traits of the feminine power. It helps us to be in receiving mode. It makes us feel safe and taken care of. Not because we don't feel safe on our own or that we need others to take care of us. But because it activates our feminine energy, which helps to reduce our stress levels and feel more connected.
So, practice asking and receiving help. If you find this very difficult, communicate with your loved ones on how they can support you on this journey. If they are aware that you are wanting to create changes, their questions such as, "Is there anything I can help you with? How can I help to make it easier for you?" or even being reassuring, "I know it's difficult for you to ask for help but I'm here for you and I'd love to help." this kind of support will help your feminine side to feel safe to open up and show vulnerability.
Now it's time to hear from you.
Do you identify with being a masculine-woman?If so, what stress symptoms have you been experiencing?
And which of the 4 ways will you focus on to activate your feminine energy?
Would love to hear from you!