How to ask your partner to change their behavior with ease
Don't judge their character - instead, share your observations about their actions.
"You are lazy"
"You didn't clean up your own dishes 5 mornings last week."
"You are always late"
"You were at least 10 minutes late to the last 3 plans we had together."
The first sentences are unfair judgments about their character and truth be told, they are USELESS because;
they add a negative energy of blame to the conversation
it often leads people to either defend themselves or shut down from an open discussion.
they often involve vague words, making it unclear and confusing to the person receiving them
A better way is to use compassionate and open communication to reach a win-win situation for all - kind of like a negotiation.
Here are the 4 steps of a Compassionate & Open communication:
1. Share your observations, with NO judgments.
2. Share your emotion about the situation.
3. Request with an explanation.
4. Offer your help.
You didn't clean up your dishes 5 mornings last week. (Observation)
I was frustrated to clean the used dishes because it delayed my morning. (Your emotion about the situation, NOT the person.)